The first half of Book 1 of the Confessions by St. Augustine speaks about prayer/medication, Augustine’s infancy, his journey into boyhood, and his Baptism. Throughout the rest of this book, Augustine says more about the first few years of his life and the view he saw in the world as a child. 

    The next section of the book speaks about Augustine’s struggle to learn Greek, but he excels in Latin. This is the most extended section of this chapter, and he covered many scenarios. Still, he mainly speaks about how he disliked the studies he had to learn in Greek and how easy it was to learn Latin, mainly because that was the first language he was taught. He mentions how the school can be subjective, and nothing can prepare him more than our Lord. “See, Lord, you are my king and my God; let every useful thing I learned as a boy be devoted now to your service; let whatever I speak, write, read or count serve you, for even as I was learning such vanities you were schooling me, and you have forgiven the sins of self-indulgence I committed in those frivolous studies”(Augustine 28). St. Augustine does speak in a harsh tone but what he is saying is very accurate. Education is very important, and it does increase the way we communicate with others and learn how to understand the world we live in. But we often don’t think the Lord is helping us understand these studies. Without school, we wouldn’t know how to read, write, or count, which is important in communicating with others. Even with studies like science and history, knowing these subjects help us understand the culture in our society and incorporate these subjects to evangelize God’s goodness. 

    Augustine then speaks more of his childish sins, where he mainly sinned just to have fun and fit in. “I stole from my parents’ larder too, and their table, either out of gluttony or to get something with which I could bribe other boys to let me join in their games, for they exacted a price even though they enjoyed our play as much as I did.”(Augustine 31). I feel this kind of behavior is fairly common, especially in the teenage years. Just like Augustine said, we can steal from our parents just so we can do something that isn’t safe and our relationship with God lowers if we continue to please others. That feeling of pleasing others can also carry to adulthood, especially nowadays with social media. With the number of likes and notifications we get, we often see that as a motive and look at things that are unrelated to the faith. Social media has helped with evangelization but it’s easy to be sidetracked on other things that are unrelated to God. 

    Later on, Augustine reflects on his experiences and even though he’s sinful, God still loves him and wants to thank Him for having Augustine exist in the world. He states that these experiences made him who he is and that he wants to thank God for having those experiences. That is very true in our lives because even though we can turn away from knowing God’s truth, we can be thankful to Him for having us exist in this world and be closer to Him in the society we live in. A the end of the chapter Augustine states, “So will you preserve me too, and what you have give me will grow and reach perfection, and I will be with you; because this too is your gift to me that I exist.”(Augustine 32). Even though we cannot reach perfectionism, we can try to be and be closer to our Lord in any way possible because God is perfect. There are times that we tend to struggle in our spiritual life, especially early adulthood but one thing to consider is to always thank God and be closer to Him because he will give us the strength to be successful in the world we live in. 

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    I’ve been running cross country and track for the past eight years. And eight years later, I have learned so much from this sport. We often hear this phrase, “Run smarter, not harder,” but it’s easier said than done. In my first few years of running, I always thought you needed to train constantly to get the results you want, but that is not always the case. There is so much strategic thinking about running, and many don’t realize it, especially your first year of running cross country and track. I started off running in the 7th grade and always thought I needed to run as long and as fast as possible constantly. Later in high school and college, I learned that recovery is very important. 

    Here is one lesson I learned the hard way. At the beginning of 2021, my spring track training was at its peak. My workout training was doing very well, and I was in fantastic shape. It was effortless for me to run 16 miles at 6:40 pace and run workout tempos under 6 min pace. But what I came to realize, I may have been training too hard and knew that I was overtraining my fitness abilities. I first came to realize this when I discovered shin splints. If you don’t know what shin splints are, it’s when an athlete overworks their shinbone where there is sharp pain whenever they run or sometimes walk. When I discovered that I was injured, I pretty much ignored it and hoped it would go away. That was a huge mistake because I kept ignoring my body, thinking I could handle the pressure, but in reality, it wasn’t pleasant and kept getting worse. I did not tell my coach, and when I started to run meets, I ran slower than I expected. 

    The times I ran weren’t entirely bad, but I did expect to run faster. I had a good starting point with a 17:20 5k and a 36:25 10k, but the times weren't improving, and each meet became slower and slower. I also struggled mentally because of the number of laps I had to run (25 laps for a 10k and 12.5 laps for a 5k). I ignored my mental and physical health and kept running as fast as I could during my training. At the end of the season, I couldn’t qualify for our conference meet and felt very disappointed in myself for not qualifying. 

    This disappointment also affected my academics, where I struggled to focus on my work and did not do well on my finals. That brought my GPA down tremendously and has affected me going into the fall semester. When the cross country season began, I couldn’t run as many meets as anticipated. I had to take a bit of a break in competition and focus more on my academics to bring the GPA where it needed to be. I eventually achieved that goal and realized that academics are more important than my running. Like I have said in a previous blog, running is something I will do for the rest of my life, but there will be a time when my career is what matters more than running. 

    Even though I couldn’t compete as much, I still had chances to run in a few meets, and the meets I did run, I didn’t do as well as I wanted to. I ran the time trial going into the season, and the time I ran for the time trial did not match up with the races I was able to compete in. I ran a 7:16 5k time trial going into the season, and after that one race, it went downhill from there. I was overtraining again where I was running a lot of mileage and took my runs faster than my fitness level. I remember I took every run under 7 minute pace and struggled more on the workouts. I tend to keep repeating my mistakes mainly because I always feel good at the beginning of the season and struggle towards the end of it. In the second month of the season, I ran my first 8k and did not run as fast as I had hoped. I ran a 32 minute 8k, nowhere close to where I wanted to run. I also felt an injury coming where both my quads had this sharp pain. It came into effect in October 2021 and couldn’t run as fast. That’s when I knew I should do something to help heal it instead of ignoring the issue. I did some stretches that would benefit my quad muscles and lowered my mileage to stay in shape and continue to heal the injury. I eventually recovered and competed one more time before the semester ended. I ran a 5k that was not too far away from my school and was able to run a solid time. I managed to get first with an 18:07 5k, which wasn’t too bad.

    Now, I am in my fourth semester in college, and I can compete with my team again. I am currently slowing down my runs and knowing when my body needs to recover to avoid another injury. I also will continue to keep up with my academics as well. There will be times where I will have bad races, and I shouldn’t discourage myself from other things in my life because I had a “bad race.” Life always goes on, and all you can do is recover from a bad race or injury and improve from there. When I was just starting off running, it was easy to think that if you run constantly, you’ll improve, but as time goes by, you find out that recovery is the most important thing as a runner and know it shouldn’t take over your mental health and your education. It is also important to keep a close relationship with God and know that if you continue to be close to Him; He will give you the strength to recover from any obstacle. 

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    Frustration is common in our society and it’s easy to be frustrated with things we don’t like or disagree with at some point in our lives. In the year 2020 and some parts of 2021, we often see the word “canceled” or “postponed.” It is easy to think negatively and want to argue with the person in charge of the cancelation, but arguing sometimes isn’t always helpful and could make it even worse, depending on the situation. The best way to handle these issues is to remain calm and understand their reasoning. Yes, having an event you were looking forward to attending but ended up being canceled can lead you to feel angry, but that will not make things any better. Of course, it is important to know we have our right to speak out, but you can only do so much, especially when it’s out of your control. 

    Frustration can also occur when we grow up. When we go through our teenage years, we feel too old to be a kid but we’re too young to be an adult. We’re at this stage where we just want to graduate high school and move on. I know some teens don’t feel that way, but most do, including me (when I was in high school). As teenagers, we often want to be with friends most of the time and be independent in our life choices, knowing we have everything under control. I was like that in high school, and I felt that every time my aunt told me no when I wanted to go out, I thought she didn’t want me to have fun. But in reality, she wanted me to be safe and know what was best for me. For example, a couple of times, I wanted to be with my friends late at night, but my aunt said no because it was too late and it was a school night. I felt frustrated at the time and didn’t understand why I couldn’t go. Now I realize it was to make sure I felt good going to school the next day. In similar situations in college, I stood up late before an 8 am class and ended up being more exhausted than usual. That taught me an important lesson, even though I had gotten frustrated with my aunt for not going out late, I understood it was for my well-being so I could be well-rested the next day. Now, I am currently 20 years old, and I still struggle to sleep early enough before busy days, but I know, from my aunt, and from personal experience, to be well-rested so I can be successful the following day. 

    This lesson can go with any general situation, like following orders from your boss at work or your professor during class. Sometimes, our professors give us tips in knowing what to study for an important exam, and we often can ignore it or not listen to what they’re saying. The same goes for friendships. When we are frustrated about something that we cannot control, it’s easy to turn away from people thinking we would want time for ourselves, but in reality, it’s essential to have others around us know what’s best. Not saying you shouldn’t have time to be alone, but not for long. Isolating yourself longer will lead to more bad decisions and less strategic thinking. 

    There may also be instances where we cannot think clearly because of a lack of sleep. Being tired can lead to frustration very seamlessly because the body needs to rest and could have us struggling in thinking properly, especially after a long day. Sometimes being tired can lead to arguments with others around you, but arguing will not help. The best way to communicate is to talk to them patiently and put ourselves in their perspective. They may not know how tiring our day was and having to hear our frustration is not going to make it any easier to communicate. It’s not always easy to talk to others when you are exhausted but we need to understand people don’t know where we’ve been through and it’s important for them to understand how we feel by talking to them calmly. 
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    Life is not always perfect, but to deal with an imperfect world, we have to make the right decisions and not be as frustrated. It’s not easy to control our frustration, and often, it can be almost impossible. But having people around us who care is worth talking to when we feel aggravated or angry. Of course, there will be things we’ll be annoyed at, but it’s important to set aside that reaction and place yourself in a positive mindset. It is also good to turn to God and know that He will help us and focus on Him in everything we do. He knows we can be frustrated at times, but having our focus on Him will lead us to our true happiness and fulfillment. As long as we keep having God as our number one priority, we will be at peace. 

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 "While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn."   Luke 2:6-7

   During this time of year, life gets busy. We tend to get worked up on preparing for the holiday that we constantly worry about what gifts we need to purchase for our family/friends, decorating, and figuring out the meal plan on Christmas day. In society, in general,, it’s easy to forget what Christmas means and why we even celebrate it in the first place. As a Catholic, Christmas is an amazing celebration of Jesus’ birth, and there can be times where we forget that meaning. The last four weeks before Christmas, we go through four weeks of Advent, which is when we come closer to our Lord and prepare for His birth. While that is true, there are many times we get sidetracked and end up not realizing it until the last week of Advent. This is a common occurrence for many (including myself), especially when you’re in college or high school. We are usually stressed with finals and last minute assignments which can make it difficult to focus on the Advent season. Having to deal with this issue for many years, I have found three tips to help grow our relationship with the Lord and know the true meaning of what Christmas is. 
    

1. Spending at least 20 minutes a day in prayer daily. We can easily make excuses saying that we don’t have time to pray but in reality, it’s not true. We spend so much time watching videos on our phones and scrolling through social media where we struggle to sacrifice that one moment of the day to pray. The devotion I would recommend is the Rosary. Even if you don’t know how to pray the Rosary, there are many videos on youtube to guide you through it. I know, prayer is not always easy and it may be a struggle to find peace the first time around but it will get easier once you make it a priority in your life. When I began to the Rosary daily, I started off with one decade a day and then moved on to two, three, four, and then all five. That would be the best way to pray because it keeps you from being overwhelmed. 

 

1. Attending daily Mass whenever you can. It doesn’t have to be everyday but it’s important to attend as much as possible, especially Sundays. While going to Mass every Sunday is something we should do (throughout the year), attending Mass daily can be beneficial to find a few moments to grow closer to God in the Holy Eucharist. It also can keep us from being stressed with other obligations like schoolwork and adult responsibilities.

 

1. Having time to be with friends and family. Throughout the year, most of my family aren’t always together mainly because we’re all so busy. I also live at school in a different state, which can make it even more challanging to see them. Having this opportunity to be with family helps bring us comfort and have time in fellowship. Also during this time of year I get to see some of my old friends again and have a chance to catch up. 

     All of these things can help you find the correct mindset in having a good and healthy Christmas. While we are celebrating Jesus’ birth, it could help us reflect on our Faith. While there are times during the year we are busy, we can take this opportunity to grow in faith ahead and know what we can do to be closer to our Lord. This can also lead into a good transition towards the Lenten season as we prepare for Easter this spring.

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‘When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything you know that I love you.” [Jesus] said to him, “Feed my sheep. Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when he had said this, he said to him. “Follow me”’   John 21:15-19

   This week, we celebrate National Vocations Awareness Week. During this time, we recognize, pray, and reflect on the fruitful vocations we have now and continue to grow in the Catholic Church. To formally answer the question of the title, “What is a Vocation?”, it’s a call from God, a mission towards holiness that every catholic has, and a gift that gives us true joy and fulfillment. When we think of a vocation, we mainly notice Priesthood and Religious life but we also should be aware of faithful marriages and singles. All of these paths in life have a purpose and bring us closer to Our Lord and Our Blessed Mother as we build up His kingdom here on earth. We also tend to forget how much God loves us and wants us to be happy. While He knows that we are sinful people, God still loves us and forgives us through our brokenness. He has a plan for us, and we need to figure out what that plan may be. 

Discernment:
   When we think of discernment, the number one priority is our call to holiness. In today’s world, it is easy to turn away from God and follow our own desires. When we ask people in the general public what they want to do growing up, they just focus on the job they would like to pursue and to be married. But we hardly hear anything regarding God’s desires for them or having God as the center of their career.

   I grew up knowing this mindset, and I feel many people nowadays do. I hadn’t thought of being holy until I reached high school. When I received the Sacrament of Confirmation, I remembered that I wanted to do more for the Church and did not know why. I just decided to go to Mass every Sunday on my own because most of my family stopped going to Church. I then decided to participate more at my parish and to find ways to become closer to God. I joined a youth group starting my freshman year of high school and eventually became one of the leaders when I was a junior. 

   Not only did I become involved in my youth group, but I also became an altar server when we consecrated our diocese (Diocese of Metuchen) to our Lady of Guadalupe in 2019. During this time,  I prayed to God, asking what else I could do to please Him. I also participated in retreats and meetings on discernment, where I learned more about the Catholic Faith with other students my age.  Going to these retreats and meetings brought me closer to God than ever before. I also witnessed how important it is to be close to Our Blessed Mother as well. 
   To this day, I am still discerning what God has planned for me, and I am willing to follow whatever it might be. Whether marriage, priesthood, religious, single, I am eager to find out through prayer and reflecting. 

Marriage: 
   In Today’s world, we often think of marriage as a man and woman falling in love, but we don’t always think of God as the center of this vocation. When a husband and wife get married, the two spouses become one flesh and grow in faith together to strengthen their relationship with God and His Holy Church. Having a spouse you love so dearly is very important and knowing that you have someone to be with to lead both of you and your kids to Heaven. Having a faithful marriage is very important because if one partner turns away from God at some point in their life, their partner can help lift them towards God’s goodness.

Priesthood/Religious: 
   Similarly, priests and religious have the same intentions as a married couple. While marriage keeps your spouse and kids close to the Faith, a priest has to keep the faithful in Church. A priest sacrifices his whole life to the Church and helps lead more souls to heaven. There is the sacrifice of celibacy, but all vocations have a sacrifice when you think about it. When a man gets married, they have to be dedicated to their wife and give up some of their alone time to make his wife (and kids) happy.  When we hear of being celibate, we could easily see it as a burden but it actually is a gift. As a Priest, you become dedicated to the Church and become the Bride of Christ. You are there for the people, and help the faithful to heaven and be the witness of Christ to the world we live in. If a priest were able to marry, there would be times it may be difficult for him to celebrate the Sacraments if he had a wife and kids. 

Single: 
    People may be wondering how a single person can be joyful and fulfilled. Well, maybe God puts that desire in them mainly to explore what they can do to evangelize the Faith to people who need it. Singles can have more time in prayer and exploring if that is the vocation they are being called to or if God has other plans for that person’s life. They also can explore more time in community service and help people at their home parish and diocese. 

Conclusion: 
   While we all may think of different paths in life, we cannot forget that we should always continue to please our Lord and Holy Mother Church. I have many devotions I practice daily, and sometimes it can be difficult. Prayer is not always easy because many material things in the world can distract us. For example, our phones can be a huge distraction and rotten our minds by scrolling through social media for hours. Not saying social media is not always a bad thing, but it can ruin your mind with videos that can be addicting to watch and procrastinate you from praying. I tend to do that more often than I should but striving to break that habit. Let us pray that we continue to open our hearts to You, Oh Lord, and bring us closer to Your Will and help us bring more fruitful vocations in our Church as we pray, 
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   Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen. 

   As we age, the more responsibilities and obligations we have and the more overwhelmed we can get. As many of you know, we can't always control what will happen to us next, but having good time management will help us feel less pressured and give us more control over the outcome of many situations. Of course, I am nowhere close to being an expert at time management but I do have a lot of experience in knowing the difference between having good managing skills and not having any at all. 

   In high school, we were told many times to “use our time wisely”. While having 8 classes a day, sports, clubs, work, and schoolwork; we often got overwhelmed and made it difficult for us to manage our time better. With having so many activities, high school does help with your management skills to some extent but it can also make it difficult leading up to adulthood. What I mean by that, is when we graduate, we took on new challenges leading towards adulthood. In high school, most of our day was structured for us, and yes, we did rely on our own actions throughout the day but most of the time, we had a plan throughout the day to go to classes and do our usual activities. We tended to not have a lot of free time and most of what we do repeats over and over again. 

   In college, however, it is a little different. We are still structured based on our schedules but we do have a lot more time on our hands and find ways to occupy our breaks in between classes. Unlike high school, we don’t always take the same classes five days a week and while I am in both Cross Country and Campus Ministry, the days don’t always feel like they repeat over and over again. While it can be nice to have some spare time during the day, we often end up being lazy and unmotivated to do anything productive. There are days where I would like to lay in my bed during my free time and watch videos on my phone. Even though I feel tempted to develop bad habits, that break during the day can be a good thing if you manage to get up and do things that would be beneficial to you.  Usually, when I am free, I try to do other things to occupy my time but also have time to look at my phone as well. For example, I try to set alarms to times where I should get off my phone, which is very helpful for the most part. Sometimes I do override the alarm and stay on my phone for longer but most of the time I try to stay committed to the time span I planned beforehand. Currently, I am trying to get into the habit of reading. It does strengthen my mind even though it is difficult and staring at a screen isn’t good for you and certainly shouldn’t be the only thing you can do during your spare time. 

   For most of my days this semester, I’ve been waking up fairly early to go to the chapel on campus and pray. I start off with the 5 decades of the Rosary, I pray to St. Michael the Archangel, peace, others around me, and reflect on how to continue to remain holy throughout the day. Starting off the day with a peaceful mindset with God and Holy Mother Church encourages me to be motivated to stick to a productive schedule. I’ve noticed how prayer is so important to everyday life because when I don’t pray in the morning, I tend to be lazy and just go on social media the majority of the day. I know many of you who are reading this may not be Catholic or do not practice a religion but I do know it is important to find that peaceful moment so you can get through the day productively. 

   Another practice I usually do is to write everything I need to do each day. When I list the things I need to do, I tend to be more responsible and feel more satisfied in the long run. Of course, there have been days where I do not write everything down and that normally can lead to laziness or just doing the bare minimum of what you need to do that day. I also try to write the things I need to get done first and then write the things I want to do last so my day will run smoothly and can relax towards the evening. I have realized when the day goes on, you get more tired every passing hour. That is why it is important to do what you need to get done first so you won’t put it off to tomorrow. Time management can be difficult but it can be doable, as long as you put your mind to it. There is so much in this world that can distract you and can lead to bad habits but once you get into the good habits, you will feel more satisfied and know what your priorities are.