Growing up, I’ve always noticed that I am “different.” Ever since I was little, I always struggled with reading, writing, and speaking. I was diagnosed with a communication impairment disorder, where it affects how I communicate and learn languages. I remember thinking at a very young age of being disheartened from not being able to learn like the other kids. I had to take special education classes for both English and Math. Although my Math was very good in general, I struggled in learning how to read word problems. From elementary school to high school, I was in the Individualized Education Program (IEP), which means I had accommodations for my education. I had extra time on assignments, being in a resource room, and being placed separately with the other kids during standardized testing.
In my first couple of years in elementary school, I did not mind being taught differently, but when I began the 3rd grade, it started to bother me. I remember that I was pulled out of class for English and was with a small group of kids in my grade to learn the subject at a pace that would benefit me. At the time, I didn’t like the idea of being taught separately because I disliked being “different.” I did like the community and the teachers, but I always felt that I was too “dumb” to learn like a “normal” kid. However, I was taught in the same class as everyone else in Social Studies and Science, which I enjoyed. But I remember I struggled in those classes the most because I was with a large group of kids. I did not realize it at the time but looking back; I know that maybe the reason I was taught in a smaller community was to help me learn the criteria better. I also took Speech Therapy lessons during the school year to help with my communication and pronunciation.
When I started the 6th grade, that is when everything started to pick up. In Math, I was moved to the “normal” classroom and was taught the subject the same as everyone else. However, we took exams in a separate room. I wasn’t a fan of being tested separately because I felt the other students thought negatively towards me and think that I am not smart enough. Also, not just with Math but with my other subjects like Social Studies and Science. In English, I was still placed in a smaller classroom, separated from the majority of the students. This kept going on throughout middle school, but when time went on, I realized how grateful I am for having teachers who do care and know what was best for me. Of course, I did not enjoy it at the time because I was placed in lower-level classes, but I realized that there were reasons why they had to do that. It brought to my attention that if I were placed with classes with everyone else, I would struggle to keep up with the other students and fall behind.
When I started high school, I was placed in “normal” classes and took Mandarin Chinese starting my Freshman year. Mandarin Chinese was the first world language course I took, and I remember I was extremely nervous because I’ve never was taught another language before. I still struggled in knowing English, so Mandarin Chinese was a huge challenge I had to face. I remember the first month of taking the class; I did not struggle too much, considering it was only the basics. But when it came to learning characters and sentence structures, I found the subject very difficult. One day, we had to do a presentation during class to describe our family in Chinese. I had trouble figuring out the sentence structures and knowing what to say about each family member. I kept forgetting the words and felt very pressured on figuring out what to say. Afterward, I wanted to quit and stop taking the class altogether. Then I realized, it was only one day, and I tried to remain positive. So the next day, I went back to class, and moving onward. Towards the end of the year, I remember I had another presentation where I had to describe myself in Chinese, and it went very well. I ended up with a good grade in that class overall and felt very accomplished on my progress. It inspired me to know that even if I have a learning disability, it can’t stop me from achieving great goals. I took Mandarin for the next three years of high school, and I enjoyed it. I learned a lot from the culture, language, and community.
While taking this class, I ended up doing very well in my other classes. In my Math class, I’ve moved up to the accelerated level, and in English, I was doing very well and enjoyed being in a larger classroom. Being in a large community can be very stressful for me when I am learning, but at the same time, I adapted to it and was able to learn as well as everyone else. The same goes for Science and History. High school has challenged me academically, and even though many of the classes I took were difficult, it doesn’t mean I should give up on them.
When I started my first year of college, I did not take as many accommodations as I used to. I had them there, but I hardly used them. Maybe that would’ve been better to continue with those accommodations, but at the same time, it also showed me that I can still do well even though I don’t have them.
Of course, I still struggle a lot with my reading and writing, but it doesn’t mean that I am unable to learn. Like I’ve said in past blogs, life isn’t always going to be easy, and even though we might have plans on the way we want to do it, and the plan doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean the goal has to change. During elementary school, I disliked the idea of being in having an IEP because I did not want to be treated differently. When I grew older, however, I understood that it helped me in the long run. I realized that being “different” is another way of saying that you’re “unique.” Being “unique” is a much better term because it show’s how great and marvelous a person is. Also, I feel that being “unique” would bring me closer to my true passions because I would have to work even harder to achieve the goal. It doesn’t matter how I get to that goal; all that matters is what I do now to achieve it. That goes with everything in life (Ex. Career, running, etc.), not just with my academics. Currently, I am taking classes that are pretty challenging, but I know I can get through it with the help of God, my classmates, my friends, and my family.
In my first couple of years in elementary school, I did not mind being taught differently, but when I began the 3rd grade, it started to bother me. I remember that I was pulled out of class for English and was with a small group of kids in my grade to learn the subject at a pace that would benefit me. At the time, I didn’t like the idea of being taught separately because I disliked being “different.” I did like the community and the teachers, but I always felt that I was too “dumb” to learn like a “normal” kid. However, I was taught in the same class as everyone else in Social Studies and Science, which I enjoyed. But I remember I struggled in those classes the most because I was with a large group of kids. I did not realize it at the time but looking back; I know that maybe the reason I was taught in a smaller community was to help me learn the criteria better. I also took Speech Therapy lessons during the school year to help with my communication and pronunciation.
When I started the 6th grade, that is when everything started to pick up. In Math, I was moved to the “normal” classroom and was taught the subject the same as everyone else. However, we took exams in a separate room. I wasn’t a fan of being tested separately because I felt the other students thought negatively towards me and think that I am not smart enough. Also, not just with Math but with my other subjects like Social Studies and Science. In English, I was still placed in a smaller classroom, separated from the majority of the students. This kept going on throughout middle school, but when time went on, I realized how grateful I am for having teachers who do care and know what was best for me. Of course, I did not enjoy it at the time because I was placed in lower-level classes, but I realized that there were reasons why they had to do that. It brought to my attention that if I were placed with classes with everyone else, I would struggle to keep up with the other students and fall behind.
When I started high school, I was placed in “normal” classes and took Mandarin Chinese starting my Freshman year. Mandarin Chinese was the first world language course I took, and I remember I was extremely nervous because I’ve never was taught another language before. I still struggled in knowing English, so Mandarin Chinese was a huge challenge I had to face. I remember the first month of taking the class; I did not struggle too much, considering it was only the basics. But when it came to learning characters and sentence structures, I found the subject very difficult. One day, we had to do a presentation during class to describe our family in Chinese. I had trouble figuring out the sentence structures and knowing what to say about each family member. I kept forgetting the words and felt very pressured on figuring out what to say. Afterward, I wanted to quit and stop taking the class altogether. Then I realized, it was only one day, and I tried to remain positive. So the next day, I went back to class, and moving onward. Towards the end of the year, I remember I had another presentation where I had to describe myself in Chinese, and it went very well. I ended up with a good grade in that class overall and felt very accomplished on my progress. It inspired me to know that even if I have a learning disability, it can’t stop me from achieving great goals. I took Mandarin for the next three years of high school, and I enjoyed it. I learned a lot from the culture, language, and community.
While taking this class, I ended up doing very well in my other classes. In my Math class, I’ve moved up to the accelerated level, and in English, I was doing very well and enjoyed being in a larger classroom. Being in a large community can be very stressful for me when I am learning, but at the same time, I adapted to it and was able to learn as well as everyone else. The same goes for Science and History. High school has challenged me academically, and even though many of the classes I took were difficult, it doesn’t mean I should give up on them.
When I started my first year of college, I did not take as many accommodations as I used to. I had them there, but I hardly used them. Maybe that would’ve been better to continue with those accommodations, but at the same time, it also showed me that I can still do well even though I don’t have them.
Of course, I still struggle a lot with my reading and writing, but it doesn’t mean that I am unable to learn. Like I’ve said in past blogs, life isn’t always going to be easy, and even though we might have plans on the way we want to do it, and the plan doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean the goal has to change. During elementary school, I disliked the idea of being in having an IEP because I did not want to be treated differently. When I grew older, however, I understood that it helped me in the long run. I realized that being “different” is another way of saying that you’re “unique.” Being “unique” is a much better term because it show’s how great and marvelous a person is. Also, I feel that being “unique” would bring me closer to my true passions because I would have to work even harder to achieve the goal. It doesn’t matter how I get to that goal; all that matters is what I do now to achieve it. That goes with everything in life (Ex. Career, running, etc.), not just with my academics. Currently, I am taking classes that are pretty challenging, but I know I can get through it with the help of God, my classmates, my friends, and my family.