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Being led by the Spirit and not by the flesh (Galatians 5:13-26)

7/21/2025

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    What a joy to be the Lord’s! Over the last two years, I have found myself overflowing with thankfulness in the Lord’s right hand through the confidence of His presence that has given eternal life (Psalm 16:11). The hymn  “My Hope is in the Lord” came to mind with the lyrics, “For me He died, For me He lives. And everlasting life and light He freely gives.” How marvelous to know a living Savior who paid the price on Calvary, and where we put our trust in Him forever! With understanding this reality and truth, it is motivating to imitate His actions through the Spirit and labor for Him who has given His grace. 
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    This summer, the Lord directed me to serve Him at a camp called Greenwood Hills located in central Pennsylvania. Right before I came to the camp, I spoke to a brother regarding doing the work well. His response was, “That is something to pray for,” and reminded me of a discussion we had during a Bible study. We spoke on praying for saints who devote themselves to doing what is good (Titus 3:8). It inspires me that I have friends in the Lord who are interested in asking our God to help a fellow servant through communicating with our Father. It leads me to do the same for those that Christ died for. 
    As I continue to trust Him, I have come to interact with dear saints who love the Lord Jesus and want to please Him as living sacrifices (Romans 12:1). The Lord brought me to work in the maintenance area of the camp, where I had little to no experience. There were various practical skills that I had not yet acquired, but I continued to have conversations with my God and ask for His help, with an attentive ear to listen and learn. 
    Upon arriving at Greenwood Hills, we began with the Memorial Day Conference. I will say it was quite a unique experience, and there were various skills I had not learned yet. I was asked to shadow a brother who is diligent and patient. He showed me the ropes (and vines) of where everything is and how it operates. Much of what was demonstrated was very thorough and well-explained. When there were moments of struggle, the Lord gave help. While working in this department, I came to understand that there are many ongoing projects and a great deal of dedication from those who lead them. I was especially thankful for the humility and patience of the saints in teaching and helping me understand how everything works. The Lord has gifted them with the courage and willingness to help others in various projects. I observed how they were always willing to pause their work to assist a fellow laborer. That was a great example to witness and encouraged me to develop similar attributes. Seeing how the Spirit led the saints here helped build confidence that the Lord will do the same with me as I continue to serve Him. 
    After the Memorial Day Conference, there was a week of no conferences or camps. It felt strange to be on the grounds with so few people, but the Lord provided resources. Miscellaneous projects needed to get done, such as spreading mulch, lawn mowing, weed whacking, etc. It was definitely something different that I’m used to, and I was trying to find the motivation to do so. One night, I was meditating on God’s Word and started thinking of the words in 1 Corinthians 15:58. “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,  because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” How motivating that is! I found this helpful in understanding that the work being done is His, and our labor will not be in vain because we strive to do every good work for His glory. Living for Christ in this profound way is a powerful reminder that my life is not my own, but it is His. 

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   With this knowledge, I found it encouraging to do this work well and to set my mind where Christ is my commander. A brother suggested listening to His Word through books I have not yet read (as I have not yet finished reading the entire Bible). I found it helpful to hear the courageous acts of those who do what the Lord wants and not of their own. One (of many) thoughts that came to mind was those such as Joshua, who was deeply committed to following the Lord. He relied on the Lord to defeat the kings, and God showed His sovereignty through that. Listening to these passages has been a big help, and knowing that even though I can’t, my God can!
    The week flew by! Thankful for the time I had! The next conference that arose was the Missions Orientation Program (MOP, for short). In preparation for this, I assisted a dear brother in getting the conference ready. At this time, I became more familiar with the equipment. I came to be more comfortable with how everything operates and how it runs. Things like the zero-turn mower, which was tough at first, but I got used to it over time. There were times when the flesh wanted to fret, but His Spirit helped develop patience in this effort. There were also moments when I was asked to do other tasks that seemed unexpected. Tasks such as painting a railing, sanding a van, replacing water jugs, refueling the equipment, etc. Of course, this was something I did not do on my own, but I was with a fellow brother. I'm thankful for these times because they foster good fellowship! While doing tasks with any believer, it brings encouragement through their testimonies and actions. I also helped in the kitchen, where I worked with other saints who love the Lord. It encourages my maturity and builds conversations to bring good fellowship in the Lord Jesus. 
    This week has been very enjoyable. The Lord has been teaching me a great deal during this time, and I have been eager to do every good work. During this time, I have been listening to the history books in the Old Testament. Those who diligently follow the Lord are committed to His work and project. That is someone I want to be, a servant of the Lord who is dependent on Him. Someone who is grounded in the Word. Someone who seeks fellowship with His Son. I am overflowing with thankfulness for the teachers He provided for me.​

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   After MOP, I had about two weeks with no conferences. This was a particularly interesting time frame because it included various areas of downtime. The question is, “What am I doing during this downtime?” “What is the Lord teaching me within these moments?” One major aspect was spending time communicating with my Father. When doing His work, it is a good reminder to know we are doing this to please Him. The song, “It Was Finished Upon That Cross,” came to mind with the lyrics, “Boldly I approach my Father. Clothed in Jesus’ righteousness. There is no more guilt to carry. It was finished upon that cross.” Great lyrics! And what an inspiration that we can boldly approach Him through His Son! As our Savior said, “It is finished.” (John 19:30), and Christ has risen! God has fulfilled His plan to bring us Salvation! Because He lives, it encourages me to do all things for Christ, because He has paid it all for me. 
      With that said, I came to continue enjoying the fellowship with the saints who diligently want to do His work because they are led by the Spirit, which gives everlasting life! This will also come with practical skills, such as organization. I came to understand there are various projects that need to be done, and some are more important than others. Creating a spreadsheet of tasks to be completed and prioritizing them from most important to least has helped keep track of everything. Thankful for the technology we have! I also learned to slow down from time to time. While I am slowly learning how to use the equipment, I can take it easy and concentrate more on using it effectively. With His leading, I have been encouraged to keep going! As Paul says, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” - Romans 12:11-12. 
    I enjoyed this time, and it has built my appreciation for the saints who come here, who diligently want to please the Lord. I am thankful to know that various friends in the Lord come here often as they can to make sure the grounds look as good as they can be. I am also thankful for those who clean and spend countless hours cleaning throughout the summer. What a joy to witness and learn from, teaching me how attentive I can be to do the same. ​

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   The next conference was Summit Week, where I worked less than I normally do. Summit Week is a time of fellowship and sound teaching with other young adults. It was a delight to reconnect with friends and meet new ones. What I enjoyed the most were the deep conversations. Almost every night, a group of us gathers in a circle (with an elder to ask questions to) and discusses topics such as how we manage our guilt as believers, church structure with men/women, end times, and more. It was encouraging and something that was well needed as we walk by His Spirit. 
      Surrounding myself with friends in the Lord Jesus encourages me to see how the Lord provided actions that reflect His fruit. One aspect I have observed is that when playing games such as volleyball, humility is often represented. Even if someone is exceptionally good or exceptionally bad, the fruit of the Spirit provides help in humility and patience with one another. I felt a little bad that I did not do as much as I usually do when it comes to work, but I am coming to understand that it was okay. A brother told me that “I gotta enjoy summit “ and that is what I aimed for. ​

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     Had about a week to prepare for the July Bible Weekend (which was the next conference coming up). There was a lot of rain throughout the week, so mowing was challenging to keep track of. The Lord has provided some time to mow at the end of the week, the day the conference was going to start. Thankful for that time before the guests came in. I also helped with the programming with the director. It was encouraging to develop a ministry with a fellow brother. I am glad to know that the Lord can use me to benefit the saints. At this point, I had a good idea of what needed to be done for the conference, such as locating the materials for the activities. setting up equipment as required, transporting materials from one location to another using the golf cart, etc. 
      I was also encouraged by the brother who was directing the conference. There were moments when I needed help with a task, and I willingly asked for help. My brother gave good insight on how important it is to ask for help because it creates good fellowship and conversation. I also came to realize that sometimes, when you try to do things on your own, it is where the flesh takes over. Of course, some tasks can be done on your own, but sometimes it is good to ask for assistance when needed and not be bitter thinking, “I can do it all.” I came to see that, as I am the one assisting other brothers with their tasks. Reminds me of the body of Christ, where all members are working together to be in touch with the Head (Colossians 2:19). Certainly, as a body of believers, we are all joined together to serve our living Head, the Lord Jesus. 
      The Lord has graciously helped me in my service and filled my heart with thanksgiving, enabling me to carry out His work. It has been a blessing to work alongside a fellow brother during the conference, and I deeply appreciate his partnership in building this ministry. I was also reminded of the contrast between God and man. How fleshly desires can lead to anger and frustration, while relying on God’s interests produces the fruit of the Spirit and overflows in thankfulness. I’ve witnessed this in the lives of various saints, and it has encouraged me to imitate their example.

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    The last event I served was Girls Camp. Similarly, at the July Bible event, I assisted the saints who needed help setting up the event. It was a pure joy to be a help whenever needed and to get everything set up. I also helped around the grounds (like I normally do) and assisted in the kitchen whenever asked. There were various opportunities for fellowship and reading the Word with others. We had a lot of volunteers come in, and a brother helped set up some devotional time together each night. It was helpful to read His Word with others, and the Lord provided good discussions. One thought that stood out was when we spoke about how we as Christians can stand out through gentleness and respect. Our theme verse was 1 Peter 3:15, which states, “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.” How great it is that we have such hope in a God who is living! With that, may we be reminded that because of our hope in the Lord, we may be motivated to share this hope with others through gentleness and respect. Another brother spoke on the definition of hope, which is “certainty for the future.” How wonderful! 
      I also had some time in fellowship with the saints at the church down the street. I was invited to join them for supper. It was a delight to be with them and felt appreciated for what the Lord has done. Oh, how great love we have for one another! “Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.” 1 Peter 1:22. While our Lord loves us, we are driven through His love to one another! How great! How sure! His love endures forevermore! Some saints wanted to spend more time together before I left, and we ended up playing dominoes together the next evening. Thankful for the time we had! 
     The Lord also provided some time to chat with a brother in building future programs to help magnify the gospel through our labor. We have had multiple conversations about ideas we can develop in the near future, if the Lord enables us. One significant aspect was to encourage young adults to build a program that allows for both work and fellowship, providing opportunities to spend time together in the Word. After being there for the majority of the summer, the Lord put it on my heart to help the camp grow to what the Lord desires. It is still in the conversation stage, but it definitely is something to pray about. 
      Overall, I considered it pure joy to be part of this ministry. The Spirit has led and provided help throughout this time. I encountered some challenges, but the Lord gave me His strength to overcome them and appreciate the moments I had. I will miss being there, but I will be willing to help out whenever they need it (as I am only 50 minutes away from the camp). Now, I am approaching my second (and last) year of graduate school. Excited where the Lord leads through His Spirit through the skills I learned at Greenwood Hills! ​​

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Rejoicing in the Lord (Luke 15:10)

12/30/2023

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My baptism 11/19/2023 (Romans 6:4-7, 1 Peter 3:22, Mathew 28:16-20, Acts 2:38-41, Acts 8:12-13)
   “Jesus replied, ‘Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.’ ‘How can someone be born when they are old?’ Nicodemus asked. ‘Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!’ Jesus answered, ‘Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to Spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’” John 3:3-7

    It’s been a joy to get to know the Lord and He has provided me so much strength this semester! I will say that this semester was not like any other and opened my eyes to keep close to the Lord during the hardest of times and also the greatest times in life! After coming from a tremendous summer in understanding Christ’s significance, I learned to carry that joy as I went back to school. The road was not easy, but His Spirit has brought to my attention in many circumstances where He provided me the strength to overcome challenges I faced during the semester. I will be sharing some of the many lessons the Lord Jesus has taught me and continues to teach as I dive deeper and deeper into His Word.

1. Growing in fellowship in the body of Christ (Acts 2:42-46, Romans 12:3-8, Romans 16, 1 Corinthians 1:9)

    While coming back to school, I started to attend a local church called Fellowship Church. It is very much a friendly environment, and I got to connect with some college students my age. As you can see above, it was also the church where I got my baptism. It was a blessing in uniting with student believers and I definitely have learned a lot being there. Their teachings were very encouraging, and I very much enjoyed the bible studies they hosted, where we discussed Jonah and Habakkuk throughout the semester, which was very encouraging. However, I felt off coming to Fellowship Church, and I think it is more of a personal issue.

   Fellowship is a massive church with a ton of people, which sounds like a good thing but I struggled in being “part” of the church. When looking back on the assembly I attend in Mechanicsburg (also where I got saved), I felt more encouraged being there because there is this sense of belonging in a smaller group of believers where I find it easier to discover my spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 12:4-7). A dear brother has mentioned to me how a church is where we all love, encourage, and serve with one another so we may honor the Lord who is the Head and we are the body of Christ and where it is written in Spcripture that we are His temple ( 1 Corinthians 3:17, and Ephesians 2:19-22). I think Fellowship Church does put in the effort to have people welcomed and be part of their church, but with my introverted self, I thought it was overwhelming. I managed to develop good relationships with them and will remain close to them and continue to attend their bible studies, but by going to their Sunday services, I felt the Lord was drawing me somewhere else. 

   The Lord then provided me with a much smaller church called Grace Community Church. There are many older folks, but I definitely found a sense of peace being there. I could connect with each of the members of the assembly, which felt very nice, and I did not feel overstimulated. Much like Mechanicsburg, where we sing hymns (Colossians 3:16) to the Lord, and have midweek bible study and prayer meetings (Acts 4:23-31), which is where I find a deeper connection with the Lord. 

    I still visit the Mechanicsburg assembly often and am still very much in touch with the saints who are part of it. With that said, I was able to build connections with others at another assembly in Jersey City called Grace Gospel Chapel. As of right now (12/26/2023), I only attended there twice (since I am in Pennsylvania for the majority of the year), but similarly with Mechanicsburg and Grace Community, there was the same structure. While meeting the saints there, I got to meet a diverse group of individuals, and many of them had connections with the people in Mechanicsburg, which is amazing! I am thankful to the Lord that He provided me with God-honoring communities where my faith in Him will increase as myself will decrease (John 3:30). With the connections that Grace Gospel Chapel have with Mechanicsburg, they also are connected with the camp called Greenwood Hills, which I met some good saints who attend there. So kind that the Lord finds a way to allow His people to connect with one another and provides us with close fellowship with Him. I am excited to see what the Lord does next as I continue to trust in Him. 

2. Being aware of the foolish. Learn to gain wisdom in the Lord Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 1-4, Mark 13, Colossians 3:5, Proverbs 1:1-7) and share the gospel with others (Acts 5:12-16). 

    When being a college student, it may be difficult to remain a faithful Christian when you are surrounded by those who are unbelievers. I run cross country and track for my school, in which I tend to see my teammates almost every day since we train together for the season. It is remarkable that the Lord provided me the awareness to understand His wisdom, in which He can provide ways for me to plant the seeds for God to make it grow to those who don’t believe (1 Corinthians 3:7). During runs, I try to find opportunities to speak about the Lord by understanding their perspectives and using that to connect that way in scripture. Most people don’t follow His Word because they are filled with lies from the world and are blind from the Truth (John 9). A dear brother lent me the book “Key Bible Concepts” by David Gooding and John Lennox. The second chapter of the book, “Holiness,” starts by telling how people who don’t believe see God as “unwelcoming” or “a restriction to man’s freedom.” From those statements, that is simply not true, and the book tells us that He wants to be with us to save us. The world shapes the way Christians view the world, which brings unbelievers to think that they do not want to live that “strict life” and want to be “free” and do whatever they please. But as we all know, we are freer than ever when we will be living eternal life in heaven (John 5:24), and God’s wrath will be upon those who don’t believe. 

    God is an all-loving God who so loved the world that He gave His One and only Son for us to live eternal life with Him. He did not come to the world to condemn the world but to save it (John 3:16-18), and that is what I am willing to teach my teammates throughout the semester, and not just my teammates but with my family and friends, where they may be saved one day. One example I would like to share is when working at Dunkin’, I spoke to a co-worker who is a senior in high school. He lives in the area and plans to attend Messiah University in the fall (where the Mechanicsburg assembly is). I spoke to him about our Lord by modifying myself and adjusting my way of speaking to build up this opportunity to talk to him about the Lord (1 Corinthians 9:19-23). He was interested and willing to hear more, which is excellent! Willing to see if the Lord will have him thinking and maybe having to come to Messiah will have him saved. That is one example of me sharing His good news with someone, and I have many more people I continue to share the gospel with. 

    While sharing His good news with others, a thought came to mind. As mentioned in 1 Corinthians 3, we ourselves cannot save people; only God has that authority. He does the work in us, and we are His handiwork to do these good works (Ephesians 2:10). I remember having a conversation with dear saints in which we all came to an agreement that we are the ones who share the gospel, and then bring them into an assembly as God works in their lives to bring them closer to Him. Another point is that we should not dwell if someone does not comply with the Lord’s teaching. We should remain courteous and compassionate; if they disagree and persecute us, it might be best not to associate with them (1 Corinthians 5:9-13). It does not mean to cut ties with every unbeliever; as long as they are being respectful, then it is okay to remain associated with them, as long as we stay aware of what is good and evil, which is why it is essential to read the bible daily. Also, our actions may show Christ in our lives, which can also plant the seed for them (James 2). 

    Speaking of reading the bible daily, I have fallen on days where I did not read my bible at all, and when those days occur, I fall into unclean feet and will need washing (John 13:10-13). At times like this, it brings the question, “How can I teach someone the gospel (cleansing their body) if myself is not fully clean?” That thought comes into mind daily, and I have to understand that we should read His Word daily so we can be blessed and be a blessing to others. Similarly, as we eat food every day to nourish our bodies, I put that in the same perspective in reading His Word. By reading His Word,  I can be a good instructor in teaching what the Teacher already knows (Luke 6:40, Mathew 5:48). Learning to read the bible daily is a blessing, and the Lord continues to teach me as I grow in His love, honor, and glory. 

    The Lord also provided me with good instructors who have built wisdom over the years to disciple those who are struggling. At the beginning of the semester, I finished reading through Mathew and Romans and struggled to find the “right” books to read. A brother texted me with an idea to read through John and Romans again. Whenever I read about someone who repents and believes Christ as Savior, I mark it down, which becomes very encouraging and helpful. That study brought to loads of other studies such as understanding the “I Am” sayings, the seven miracles that Jesus gives, the twenty-five “Amen Amen” statements, a deeper understanding of John 6, seeing John 14-16 as a unit, memorizing important verses, and so many others. Doing this study helped me grow, and thankful to the Lord for providing me with a brother who has been very helpful in getting to know Him. I am currently doing the same thing with Acts and Luke (while also reading these books with college believers in the hope of encouragement for both them and me), reading through 1 Corinthians leading to Hebrews (in building an understanding of His plans for the church), learning the books from the Old Testament to the New Testament (which another dear brother has been helping me with), and so many other studies. It truly is a blessing as I learn more of His wisdom. 

3. The Lord Jesus has the ultimate authority (Mathew 28:16-20, Colossians 3:15-23)

    In college, I attend classes that may seem “biased” in many cases, and that is how the world is. I have witnessed professors and teachers who seem to have it “all figured out” and see themselves above the students. I see that as somewhat true because God gave them those positions to teach the younger generations, but there is only One who has the ultimate authority, which is God (Luke 4:31-32).

    He is in control of everything that happens and has a reason. In many cases, I run into issues where I feel nervous about being around people who are “higher” than me and feel intimidated by those who judge me on what I believe and who I am. Sometimes, people underestimate me because they don’t take the time to listen or justify the words I have to say due to my communication impairment. The Lord has been helpful in building confidence to stand up to the Truth and knowing that the Lord will keep me safe (Romans 5:2, Acts 5:17-24). At times, I also think nervousness comes into play when talking to people who have a “higher authority” over me, but that is something I continue to pray and meditate on as I trust in Him (Romans 15:13). I was listening to teaching recently when we remain in Christ, we shall not be defeated, and that is what I put my mind when the nerves come in. Not only with speaking but also with responsibilities such as presentations and preparing for an exam. Those nerves slowly loosen when knowing that Christ is in control. The Lord has given me the thought of going into speech therapy after I graduate so I can learn to be more fluent in speaking, which I continue to pray for as I get closer to May.

    When speaking about intimidation from “higher authorities” when praying with others, I have struggled to contribute when I am in groups. Not only with prayer but also sharing thoughts at the Lord’s Supper and sometimes even at bible studies. I have mentioned how great prayer meetings are, but I also have to know that every person who is part of the body of the assembly is there to encourage one another. I spoke to a dear brother about this, and we were discussing through Mathew 6:5-15 what prayer is and its purpose. I knew that prayer is developing a relationship with our Lord, and He, of course, knows what's in our hearts. Still, the intimacy of speaking with the Lord will show our humility to Him, and He will reward us through His love (Just like the Lord Jesus prayed for believers in John 17:20-26). I keep that in mind whether I am praying on my own or in groups. Even with nonbelievers at the dinner table, I strive to say grace and offer it to others before eating. Sometimes, it may be easier to pray on our own, but I am slowly building confidence in praying with others and showing less hesitancy. 

4. Learning not to quit when things get difficult (Proverbs 19:1-2) 

    I have filled various responsibilities this semester where I struggled to keep track of everything. I was a tutor and an academic coach, ran cross country, took 18 credits, and worked at Dunkin throughout the fall semester. At times, it was overwhelming, but I am thankful that the Lord taught me to take it one step at a time (Psalms 61:1-2).

    There were moments of almost quitting, such as my job at Dunkin’, but the Lord made His way (like He always does) to prevent me from doing so. I was speaking to a dear sister about the situation, and she sent me a message quoting Proverbs 19:1-2 where she discussed with me two lessons, which are that poverty is not always bad in comparison to lack of integrity or that there are greater things to have than a lack of poverty such as integrity. Her second lesson was that hasty decisions lead to missing your way. She encouraged me to pray more about it, not to be hasty, and not to quit when it gets tough. Instead, I will be open to using the position I was offered to build opportunities to speak the gospel with others. And that is what I did when I mentioned my co-worker before. Everything got better afterward, and of course, there were some rough patches here and there, but the Lord continued to take care of me. A week later, I was put off the schedule for Sundays without even asking for it. It is amazing how the Lord can reward us and that obeying Him will create the time needed to praise Him for His love for us. 

    While deciding not to quit that job, I still had a sense of overwhelmedness and thought of quitting something again. It was not Dunkin’, but I was considering not tutoring, academic coaching, or dropping a class. Also, laziness started to occur, and I did not “feel” like putting in the effort to do well in school. When those thoughts occurred, I took time in prayer, and an hour later, I went on my phone and saw a dear brother posting a teaching on being a Godly man about Boaz in the Book of Ruth. Using the example of Boaz, he got things done and honored the Lord in his everyday life. The primary purpose of the teaching is that even though there may be things we don’t like to do, we have to do them even if it may be challenging. In the position that I am in, as a senior in college, I am getting closer to being in the “real world,” and I need to keep striving for success because the Lord wants me to succeed. We need to do these things in order to develop the resources to honor the Lord Jesus. Very much encouraged me to strive to do things not for myself but through Christ because we are in Christ and not through my own flesh (Romans 8:6). So I decided to keep with the positions I was given, and everything went well, thank the Lord. I managed to end the semester on a good note and was provided with an internship for the spring semester for a running company in the area. I am glad the Lord has given me this opportunity after a long but very rewarding semester. 

5. Thanking God the Father in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ for everything (Ephesians 5:20, Colossians 3:3-14)

    When I get to the end of the year, I need to thank the Lord Jesus for everything He has done for me. Even before I was saved, He took care of me and provided me with a good conscience (1 Peter 3:16). He kept me from doing anything too significantly wrong, and I thank the Lord for drawing Him to me as I got to trust in His significance this summer. He brought me the understanding to forgive (Colossians 3:13), repent (Acts 3:19), and build His wisdom with others around me so that I may not bring unwholesome talk to others (Ephesians 4:29-32). 

I also thank the Lord for His care in my everyday life for not just the significant things but even the small things in life, such as sleeping in a warm bed every night, having to afford meals every day, having a healthy body for me to live in; it truly is a blessing the know that the Lord has been so kind even though I spent twenty-two years in not knowing Him. Spending time praying with Him and reading His Word brings me joy and confidence not to be afraid and knowing He will be with me for eternity (Joshua 1:9). 

    To conclude this post, I want to give a word of gratitude and hope this brings encouragement to you as I continue to be open in sharing what the Lord teaches me. If you have not read my testimony (Which I published in September 2023), I invite you to do so and will continue sharing my journey in Christ as we approach the new year! Happy New Year everyone! Praise the Lord (Psalms 150)! 

My Testimony
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My Testimony

9/8/2023

5 Comments

 
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On July 22nd, 2023, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and I am saved through His grace, love, and glory! 

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God | Romans 5:1-2

 2001-2016 

    Growing up, I was raised catholic. I was adopted by a single mother (who also adopted my two older sisters), who placed us in a catholic program called CCD once a week after school. We lived in the suburbs located in central New Jersey in a town called Edison. My mother passed away when I was about 5 years old but our aunt stepped in and took care of us for the majority of our lives. My aunt still kept us in these classes and had us go through the sacraments of initiation. The sacraments of initiation are what all Catholics need to follow in order for us to be saved (baptism, communion, and confirmation). These sacraments were obligated for us to receive so we can be an adult of the church. During that time, I was mainly going through the motions and did not think much of it. The mindset I had was that this was an important task I needed to do and it was a requirement for me to take in order to be closer to our Lord.

2016-2017
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    After I received confirmation, I became very curious about catholicism and wanted to learn more about the religion. During this time, I was around 15 years of age (going into freshman year of high school), and usually during this age, you tend to be more curious about what you learn (at least for me). I wanted to discover what else I could comprehend with catholicism, so I decided to go to mass regularly (mainly on my own, my aunt stopped going to church after confirmation and so did my siblings). I still was unaware of what I was doing and mainly kept going to mass just knowing I was obligated to. 

2017-2018

    When going into my sophomore year, that is when I started to participate more in what my church does and took Catholicism more seriously. I joined the youth group that is provided and got to meet many students my age (from my high school and other ones around my area). I read the readings during mass, participated in singing in the choir, helped around the church with retreats, etc. The more I did all of this, the more I thought this was the correct way to achieve my salvation. I thought I was learning more about Jesus but when looking back, I was mainly following what everyone else was doing and just wanted to find some peace in my life. 

    With that in mind, at the end of my sophomore year of high school, I registered for this retreat from my diocese for the summer. A diocese is a large section of catholic churches that are run by a bishop. This retreat I went to is called “quo vadis,” which is the Latin phrase for, “where are you going.” I was interested in attending, so I went to the retreat. Later I started to realize that this was an all-boys retreat where guys my age would reflect on their vocation. Vocation in the catholic church is when a person decides what they are doing in their lives. Whether it is marriage, priesthood, single life, or religious life (becoming a nun, friar, or monk). The retreat’s primary focus was to encourage guys to consider the catholic priesthood. I still decided to go and thought it would be fun anyway. The retreat was only three days, so I had the perspective that I was not going to be gaslighted into thinking of becoming a priest. But that ended up becoming the opposite. After the retreat was over, I had an urge that maybe God was calling me to become a priest and I had that thought for quite a while moving forward. 

2018-2019

    I did not think too much of it for the rest of the summer but it was a thought that was running through my mind. When beginning my junior year of high school, I kept it to myself for a bit until I received a letter from the vocations director (a priest who is in charge of vocations) regarding a discernment group the diocese was creating. I felt an interest in going, so I joined and got to meet some of the guys I met from the quo vadis retreat again. I would say that it was a good time meeting with these people and the priest was very generous. Throughout that whole school year, I learned a lot about catholicism and got to discover what the priesthood is like by seeing an example from the vocations director and many others I got to meet.

    But there are a few things that I caught on to during that time that I thought were confusing to me. One is the authority the church has over the people. I was always confused as to why we have priests who have the power to run the sacraments of the church and that we the faithful need to ask a priest for these sacraments. One example would be confession, where we need to ask a priest about our sins. I was told that the priest is supposed to resemble God’s instrument and that God is working through the priest to forgive people’s sins. During the time, I just let it be as it is and took their word for it but I still thought it was strange. The second thing I like to point out is the idea of Mary being a model.  My 17-year-old self thought that was strange and I had this question “Why do we talk so much about Mary?” I was told that Catholics honor Mary but there is a lot of talk about her being a queen in heaven. So does that contradict what they said? A queen is someone who rules over a community from a right of birth. We say that Jesus is king, which creates a similar definition but with a male. So if Catholics only honor Mary, should Catholics say the same thing about Jesus? There was a lot of confusion that I had overall about what I was learning but I let it be at the time. 

    Pretty much during this year, I was discovering catholicism of their beliefs and what I can learn from it. I kept participating in the discernment group and later on, I became an altar server for my church. As I was building an understanding of catholicism I had thoughts running through my head that did not want me to continue doing this. I think I was just following what every else was doing and I did not have much knowledge of scripture but I was taught by priests and people from the discernment group about vocations towards the priesthood particularly and how to follow the Lord through their example.  Then, at the end of my junior year, that is when things did not go the way I wanted. On June 4th, 2019, my aunt passed away from septic shock. During this time, my life turned around completely and I went through a major change in my life. From having to live with a guardian to an independent adult was a drastic change that brought me to a stressful moment. I of course had family help (like my siblings and a cousin from Georgia who did a lot for me). But at the same time, I needed to grow up faster than expected to keep everything moving. The summer going into my senior year was a rough one because of all of the adjustments I needed to get used to. I also was in the process of moving from the house we grew up into a small apartment in Jersey City. At this time, I was mainly focused on myself and trying to cope with the stress through work. I did have God as one of my priorities but kept Him as a secondary thought when I was focused on getting everything sorted out. Looking back at this moment made me realize how I really needed Jesus in my life and wondered if I got to know the Lord during that time, things would have worked out differently. But come to think of it, God knows where my heart was and knew that that experience was going to happen. 

2019-2020

    When starting my senior year of high school, it started off rough. When my sisters left the house (where one was still finishing college and the other was working in New York) I had to live an independent life when going into my last year of high school. I was 18 at the time, so I was allowed to live on my own. It was quite a struggle keeping everything together where every day I needed to manage things with my personal and school life. There were many times when I fell into bad habits with eating and keeping up with a healthy routine mentally and physically. I was also running cross country and track for my school where that has been taking a large chunk of my time too. Even having to go to church became a struggle. I felt I needed to go to church every Sunday and just went for the sake of going. It was a rough year for me and for the most part, I focused on doing things on my own. I did not want to turn to anyone for help because I did not want anyone to feel bad for me.

    Then when March 2020 came along, that made the situation even more difficult. When the pandemic struck, I was in a very bad mental state where I was just in my own head. Everything that I was looking forward to (prom, graduation, day trips, etc.) was all canceled, and was disappointed in everything that was happening. One positive thing that did happen during this time was when my sisters came back and we ended up having time to be around each other, which I thank God for that. 

    Going back to everything I had with catholicism, I mainly went through the motions during this time. During this overwhelming period, I tended to notice some things that sparked confusion with the catholic church. When churches shut down, there were many new rules in place. It got me thinking of a lot of contradictions in what catholicism teaches. For example, the obligation to go to mass was brought down when the pandemic began, which confused me at the time because I thought if we did not go to mass (and receive the Eucharist), it was considered a moral sin (a major sin that will bring you to hell). According to the bishops, they brought to the people that they were not obligated to go to mass due to the shutdowns we had in our country. But my question during all of this is, “How does this rule make sense according to what the church said in the past?” We heard the bishops and pope gave this order but what made them decide to make this decision without speaking with the people about it? We have seen everything get shut down during this time, so it was brought to my attention that was it because the government is saying that? In other words, are they focusing on what the government says on what to do or not to do with our beliefs? I was questioning that for a while but I mainly let it slide during that time. 

    When summer came along, things slowly got better. My graduation was rough with it being online in June to being somewhat in person in July. What I mean by that is that my grade was cut into sections for the ceremony at different times during the day. That was okay but did not really care too much about that mainly because it was in July and felt I was already done with high school. During that summer, I got to see friends again and it was good to finally be able to hang out with people more regularly. Church also started to open again and started to go to mass in person regularly. Mass was still not considered an “obligation” (which became an obligation in 2021). I started to see some of my friends who were part of the discernment group I was in. One of them asked me to start attending the Latin Mass, which I had no idea what it was. When I first attended the Latin mass, I was very confused about what was happening. There were so many prayers that were written and so much to understand. There were a lot of things we needed to do and things that were not allowed to do. 

    Some questions came to mind during this time. Why is this all necessary? Do these actions really teach what Jesus wants us to live? Why do all these actions indicate any significance? I still reflect on these questions today and it brings me to the idea that this traditional mass treats it as something you need to be perfect in. We see in the bible that we are all broken and Jesus is the all-perfect One. There is more to say about this topic but I will just leave it at that. Maybe in a future blog, I’ll speak more about it. 

2020-2021

    I have started my freshman year of college and as I was going into this year, there were some unexpected things happening. One is that half my classes were online and second that there were so many restrictions on campus. It was a crazy first year, considering the uncertainty. While going through this experience, I still was able to meet new people along the way, especially since I was running for the cross-country team. Got to know my teammates and was overall getting used to a new environment. During this time, I was still considered catholic and had to research Catholic events in the area. My school is also known to be a catholic school, so I reached out to the campus ministry program on campus. They seemed nice and I was able to help participate in the mass they have every Sunday. I became a lector where I read the readings during mass every week. I also went to a few other catholic churches nearby and got to know the priests there. I still felt there was something off with what I was doing and was not sure what it was.

    I then met a good friend on campus who is a Christian. When meeting with him for the first time, I spoke to him about my being catholic and the teachings I have learned. He listened and then mentioned to me about the church he goes to. He gave me a suggestion about going to a program called Cru, which many college students go to where they have meetings once a week at a church called Fellowship Church, which is about a mile down the road from campus. I considered going and I thought it would be something new to witness. Growing up, I did not even know that there were other denominations of Christianity. All I knew was catholicism and I  thought that was the only form of the religion.

    As I was starting to go to these meetings at cru, I got to meet so many believers who go to my school and schools nearby. When going to these meetings, there were sermons that dive into the bible deeply. At the time, I had no idea what was going on, I didn’t even have a bible with me. I was just following the person people next to me and felt overwhelmed when I listened to the sermon. It was so much different than what I was used to. To be quite honest, I do not remember what the sermon talked about, all I remember is the confusion I had going into it. 

    Later during the week, I looked more into what the church offers and explored its site to see what they believe and teach. What shocked me is the image shown below…

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    When I read through this on their site, it shocked me and caught my interest in seeing this to be true. I spoke with my friend again and we had many discussions regarding topics on salvation and how we cannot earn our salvation through works. At the time, I did not want to believe. I wanted to continue being catholic and wanted to “prove him wrong” thinking that this could not be true. We got into other topics like the authority of the pope, the sacraments, etc. I kept denying what he had to say about it, mainly because I kept an ego of keeping close to catholicism. Also, I had good friends and priests I have met in my life that I wanted to remain close to, so I thought if I “abandoned” my religion, I wouldn’t be forgotten. That was a very toxic mindset for me and I knew there was something off about it. But I just kept with it and moved on from there.

2020-2021

    During this time period, I was a lost sheep. I continued to go to mass and read the readings at church and went through a motionist state. At the beginning of 2021, I was at home for winter break and spent time being around friends and family. I have this good friend I met in the discernment group I was talking about earlier, where we discussed catholicism. My friend is currently a seminarian (a guy studying to become a priest), who started to encourage me to do the same thing. Throughout the discussion, he spoke to me of all the joyfulness you get from it and how it can build up an excellent pure foundation for the rest of my life. I thought about it more and began to read books on this topic. One book in particular is “To Save a Thousand Souls,” by Fr. Brett Brannen. I got very much into it where the author speaks about the life of a priest and what they do in their everyday life. I thought about it and discerned that path for a bit. As I have mentioned earlier, I have been exposed to that life when I went to the quo vadis retreat and the witness of priests I met. 

    Looking back at this, I think I was pressured into it mainly because my friend was constantly talking about the seminary (the place to study to become a priest) and how great it would be to join. I did not see it at the time and just did man's work, not what Jesus wanted me to do. I then reached out to the vocations director about it and started to apply to the seminary. Soon after, I got in when the month of May came around. I met up with the bishop and was able to talk through where God may be leading me. He offered me to go to the seminary program at Seton Hall University and thought that would be a great fit. This was the summer after my freshman year of college and I was considering leaving college to study to become a catholic priest. I had a lot of unsureness in my mind at that time but I kept with it because I did not want to disappoint people. At this moment, I was not thinking of what God wanted, I just thought of what people wanted me to be.

    Throughout that summer, I had a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I questioned if this was a good decision, what the outcome would be, if I was capable of doing this, etc. I was under so much stress and I also did not tell my school at the time because of the unsureness I had. When August came around, I took a day to just not do anything but stay at home. I spent time in prayer and wrote in my journal about this decision to leave college and study to become a priest. Then there was a moment where it hit me when I started to understand that this decision was not the work of God and that it was me being gaslighted by others to make this decision. The next day, I called the vocations director to tell him that I did not think it was a good idea to go to seminary. We met up in person later that week and we had a conversation regarding this even deeper. He was extremely patient with it and accepted that decision to not go to seminary and finish up college. I then had to send a letter to the bishop, talk to my friend (the seminarian) about it, and also the overall people I had been talking to about that decision. After all of that, I definitely found peace in what I just did. Looking back at it now, I see that God helped me realize that I was doing man’s work and He wanted me to go through this lesson so I could make better decisions to follow Him on what He wants me to do for my life.

2021-2023

    During this time frame, I was stuck in a state where I had no idea what to do. I continued going to school and I still considered myself Catholic but had trouble standing with the teachings. My primary focus was very off and was in a stressful mindset of the unknown. Sophomore and junior of college, I mainly kept to myself where I was just focusing on running, school, work,  and socializing with my teammates. I did receive a position as the lector leader for campus ministry but was not at peace with it. I just kept it as another thing to do and did not think much of it.

    At the end of my junior year, I was looking for internships for the summer. As I was scrolling on Linkedin, I found there was a leadership development internship program at Hershey Park. I considered applying and I eventually did. I got in and later spoke with my advisor about this decision. He thought it would be a great idea and was able to help give me some college credit for the internship. I thought this would be a great opportunity to learn how an amusement park works and what I learned to become a better leader. Well, that was true but there was something else that God had planned when entering this program….

May-June 2023
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    When beginning this internship, I met with people across the United States. Many from the surrounding area and some in a completely different state. It was a whole new environment I had to get used to. In the first week, I met this girl who lives in the northern part of Pennsylvania but she goes to school at Messiah University in Mechanicsburg PA (which is about a 25-minute drive from Hershey). She was interested in making a conversation with me and we were able to engage in good conversations the first few days of the internship. There was this one day we sat outside and then she started speaking about religion. One thing that caught my attention was when we were talking about the Bible and how it is incredible how the Bible was translated so many times that it can be easier to understand His word even deeper. I caught an interest in that and we decided to read through John together. We picked John mainly because I had learned that the Eucharist is rooted in John 6 and thought I could understand that even deeper.

    Time passes, we are reading through John and my friend sends me a message to urge me to read through John 6 carefully. 

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   While reflecting on what she had to say and from the understanding of what I was able to comprehend was that maybe this is what Jesus wants us to live our lives. In John 6:63, I found it fascinating to understand that the Spirit gives us life, not the flesh. Really brought to my understanding that God is always with us and as I am reflecting back on this conversation I had then, I read through Mathew 28:19-20, where Jesus is with us at the very end of the age. What I have learned about catholicism is that we need work in order to achieve our salvation and that the sacraments are there to help us with that. But I started thinking that many of the sacraments are based on the authority of the people running the church and not what Jesus wants us to live. For example, having to receive the Eucharist every weekend does not make sense after reading this passage. That transubstantiation does not connect well because it makes it seem that you need someone (the priest) to receive the Eucharist but in reality, all we need is Jesus and He is our salvation through faith. 

    After learning that, I began to engage more in understanding His word even deeper. I still did not consider myself saved at the time though. This was between May and June of 2023 when I wanted to hang onto my catholic beliefs. I wanted to not let go of it because it was still something I wanted to hold on to. 

July 2023

    Time rolled by and later on, my friend (the girl I was talking about earlier) asked about going to the grocery store in the morning one Sunday. That day I planned on going to the catholic church a few blocks away from the area we have been staying at for the internship. I mentioned it may not work with my schedule because of that reason but then she asked to go to her church that day instead.  I was unsure and hesitant about going because I still had this rope that I was holding onto with catholicism. I thought about it and I felt that God was asking me to go because I had an urge to say no but had a voice telling me to say yes. So then I said yes…best decision I have made!

    When I arrived, it felt very different because it was at a house and I had never been in that type of environment. The way everything was structured was something different too. In the first half, there is a time of worship and the Lord’s supper and in the second half, there is a bible teaching meeting. The second half is what I knew about considering that I went to Fellowship in my first year of college. The first half really caught my attention. It reminded me of what I spoke with my friend who invited me and that the Lord’s supper is a way to remember His sacrifice. From the understanding of what I learned in catholicism, it was shown as a re-representation of transforming the bread and wine to His body and blood, which I see as something unbiblical based on what transubstantiation states. 

    I am having trouble remembering if this speech was said the first time I went there or the second time, or maybe the mix of both but I remember one teaching referencing Ephesians 6 that stood out to me when we need to put the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-20). While pieces of armor were being used to represent the passage, it was brought to my attention that it was signaling a metaphor. Where we are not actually putting a suit of armor on but we are spiritually putting armor on to keep us from the dark forces of the devil. While listening to that, I came to a deeper understanding that God is not always literal but He does give these metaphoric instances to help us draw closer to Him. I found this fascinating and wanted to build a deeper understanding of what the Bible teaches.

I still did not consider myself saved yet but we are getting closer. I am still at the end of the rope of catholicism but it is about to let go shortly. After that Sunday, I started to go to a bible study that they host on Wednesdays. This time, I did not have my friend from the internship assisting me. On my way there, I turned off the music and drove in the silence. I asked God for assistance to help me build a deeper understanding of God’s word and be able to communicate well with the people I am reading with. When meeting new people, I tend to be nervous because I fear of saying the wrong thing or being too silent. Of course, I got to know the people the past two weeks from coming on Sundays but I also had my friend with me who introduced me to the church. I prayed to our Lord to find that comfort and graciously, He answered my prayer. 

    When going into the bible study, I of course was nervous, but I gradually got used to speaking with them as the night went on. I got to meet with another guy my age and was very nice. We had dinner, chatted on various topics, and slowly went into the bible study. We went through Revelation 2:8-11 and it brought to my attention how deep we can go for each verse. One example would be when we went over verse nine. I remember we went in deep of knowing that God knows about our afflictions and poverty but we are rich. If I remember correctly, I think I started speaking and mentioned that God knows our faults but if we remain with Him we will be led to eternal life. Something along that line but overall, that study really got me thinking that there is so much to see in scripture that I was unaware of. At that meeting, I also was suggested to read through Romans by someone who led the study (who also was very helpful in helping me get to know Christ) because Paul speaks a lot about our salvation in that book of the Bible. 

    Before I dive into what I have discovered about Romans, I also like to point out what we did for the rest of the night. We had a bunch of other people coming in and we had time in prayer together where we discussed what we wanted to be prayed for and we all came to ask the Lord Jesus to hear our prayers. It was a marvelous moment and very much helped me understand that people at this church are true brothers and sisters of Christ. It was great to know that they pray very deeply for each and every person they can think of to ask our Lord for the assistance we need. That encouraged me to pray for others that I know who need Jesus in their lives.

    After that day, I decided to look over scripture on my own but I also got a little help. I texted the friend I met at fellowship (the friend I mentioned who goes to Cru from my freshman year of college) and asked if we could read Romans together. As I was reading I discovered so much in what salvation is and the connections I have made with the gospels. I noticed how we are justified by faith which can lead to righteousness and there is nothing else we can add to it. I came to realize that the works we do in catholicism go against it because for example in Romans 4:3-6, we see how Paul says that works are not being credited but having the belief in Christ will lead us to righteousness. I have made a connection with Mathew at the time when in Mathew 16:8-11, Jesus talks about having little faith in the disciples when He warns them about the Pharisees and Sadducees. Also, another relatable passage on the top of my head was Jonah 1, where Jonah denied Jesus and went off to do his own thing because he did not have faith in doing what he was asked. Then he paid the price when he was in the belly of the fish. But he soon realizes that he should follow God when he creates a prayer to Him in chapter 2. With that said, that can relate to Romans 5:3-5, where our suffering can lead to perseverance and hope towards our Lord Jesus.

    Some of what I just said now are things I am still continuing to learn and know. After hearing how our faith in believing in our Lord Jesus can lead to salvation and discovering what the people in the bible went through, it made it clear that I am saved by our Lord Jesus and He is my salvation through the grace He has put on us. That is when I let go of the rope of catholicism and entered into a new life with our Lord. I became so amazed that I am willing to sacrifice moments of my time during the day to read His word and understand Him more deeply. I can go on with testimonies I heard, and more stories I discovered (with Simon Peter, John the Baptist, Paul, etc.) but that will be for another blog in the near future. 

    I got to be very close to the Church in Mechanicsburg and learned a lot from them on how I can build a deeper understanding of our Savior. I was provided resources of sermons, songs, and readings to look at to help me understand His word and get the most from what I can comprehend. 

August 2023-present
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    After all of that, I continued to go to that church in Mechanicsburg and I ended up meeting more people along the way. I was also given the opportunity to go to a Bible Conference at Greenwood Hills Bible Camp where I got to meet so many fellow believers. I have met someone who was raised catholic as well and helped bring more assurance that we are saved through faith. Now, I am back at school and currently back in Cru and Fellowship Church once again! I am so grecious of having to go through this journey and I felt that God planned for this to help me be as close to Him as I am now! 

    Growing up catholic,  I was just holding on to something that felt like it was the right thing to follow but after getting to know our marvelous Savior through His word, I came to realize that catholicism is too focused on tradition and not what Jesus wants us to live. I also knew that there was something off, hence the questions I had in my mind as I was learning catholicism growing up.  I always knew that Jesus was working in my heart and by going to Fellowship freshman year, I see that the seed was planted and the waters were poured when I met the people from Mechanicsburg these past few months (1 Corinthians 3:5-6). Now I have entered into a new life with Jesus and know how to build a deeper understanding of His Truth (1 John 5:19). Very grateful and excited about where the Lord will take me next! Praise Jesus! 

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2022 Reflection

12/31/2022

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    Wow, it felt like only yesterday I was writing the blog for 2021. Now, we are at the end of 2022, which is insane to think about. Similarly to 2021, 2022 had its challenges, but that is what makes each year special.  I have realized that every year is a challenge, resulting in each year forming every one of us gearing toward a positive outcome in the world we live in. It doesn’t mean that we should strive to be perfect (which is impossible), but it does help each individual to build a healthier, friendlier, and safe life while building a strong and positive community.

    I have looked back at the reflection from last year (which you can read: ​​https://www.anthonymasters.org/blogs/new-years-reflection) and was reminded of the lessons I have learned from that year. Some of it I have followed, and many I did not. I want to transform these goals into new ones and hope to follow them as we approach 2023 (wow, that is weird to say, not alone typing it).

  1. Don’t be too hard on yourself. 

    This year I came through many challenges in my everyday life, and sometimes it is a struggle to get over those challenges. One example would be grades/GPA. Whenever I receive a grade I do not like; I tend to be hard on myself and stress over the result in my overall performance for the course. While it is important to earn good grades in college, one not-so-good grade does not determine your career. Rather, it can be a learning experience to move on from it. The same goes for activities outside of school, like running. I, of course, have bad races, and those races have brought me down at times, but one bad race does not have to affect my whole career as long as I keep moving forward and get better next time around. The same goes for everything I do. Setbacks are what make us keep moving and motivated.  

      2. Take everything step by step (don’t worry too much about the future). 

    I am currently going into the second semester of my Junior year, and it is crazy to think about. Time does fly, and it can be scary to think I will be finding a career path just over a year from now. With that said, I definitely know it will come eventually, but it doesn’t mean I should stress over it as long as I take it step by step. At this point in my life, I do not have a clear understanding of what my future job will be (specifically). Still, I do know it will be resolved as I continue doing well in school, be in close contact with my advisor, and look for part-time jobs/internships that relate to my major. As long as I am approaching those three components, I will find my way to success. 

      3. Value every moment of your life.

    To be honest with you, this was a struggle for me this year. Whenever there is something that stresses me out, I tend to worry or focus on that instead of what is happening around me. It gets overwhelming at times, and I forget to focus on what I am doing at that moment. For example, whenever I have a large assignment due or an exam coming up, I focus too much on that particular thing rather than what is happening around me. If I am with friends at that moment, I tend to mainly think about what I am stressed about rather than the conversations I am having. This is something I am willing to try to overcome, and I know this will be a process, but I know it can be resolved little by little. 

        4. Speak up

    I am a person who wants to let everyone around me be happy, but sometimes, it is not always the case. I am starting to build a better understanding that mental and physical health is essential. I have had many situations where I would want people around me to remain satisfied, leading me to feel stressed over their satisfaction. I know life will not go my way and it is good to benefit others, but it is not healthy to keep creating situations where people around me can take advantage of me in any circumstance. A wise person has told me, “There is a difference between being helpful and being taken advantage of.” I try to stand by that quote whenever I am in any situation. It is also difficult to say “no” at times because I feel bad about the person I am saying “no” to. Still, it is important to understand that my well-being is important, and sometimes I have to do what’s best for me whenever there is an overwhelming circumstance occurring.
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      5. Build a better prayer life and stay close to the Catholic Faith. 

    I have to be honest; my Faith hasn’t been where I wanted it to be compared to last year. My prayer life has been low lately, but it’s mainly because of how busy my life is at school. While working, taking six classes, and running, I tend to get caught up in all of it where prayer gets delayed or doesn’t occur. That is what I want to change, especially on days when I am the busiest. Of course, this will be a process to reach that goal little by little, but I will create this outlook to thrive myself into a healthy and happy prayer life. 

    All of these goals will be challenging, but that is what life is. I think 2022 was overall a good year. There were, of course, some rough patches from it, but I realized that every year is like that. There is no such thing as a “perfect” year, and it certainly will never happen. I am grateful that 2022 was as good as it was, and I am looking forward to what 2023 offers. The future is bright, and there are so many new opportunities in life to look forward to. 
Happy New Year, Everyone!

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My Experience being a Camp Counselor (Summer 2022)

10/18/2022

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Ramapo Country Day Camp - There's no place like it. ramapocamp.com
   Oh boy! It has been a while since I posted a blog! I have wanted to post this for a while now, but life has been busy lately, but better late than never! Here it is….

    This summer, I worked at Ramapo Country Day Camp in Airmont, New York. This camp lasted from June 27th-August 19th of 2022, and this was my first year working at a summer camp. In past jobs, I worked at various companies, Bingo Hall, Stop&Shop, Dunkin, work-study, etc. This last job as a counselor was incomparable to all previous jobs that I’ve held; however, I consider it more as a positive than a negative. I wanted to try something different and gain experience with opportunities to grow as a person and to connect with others in different areas of life. Before I dive into the various positions I worked in, I do want to address what Ramapo is and why I chose to work there in the first place. 

   The story behind Ramapo is insightful and captures the owner's challenges in making Ramapo possible. More than fifty years ago, a guy named Mike Kulchin dreamed of opening his own day camp. He grew up going to camp for his whole life and dreamed of being a camp director of his own. He also wanted to follow in his dad’s footsteps and was willing to take over his position as camp director. His dad ended up retiring a lot later, and Mike had to find another way to make his dream a reality. He and his wife, Michele, put a ton of hard work into creating Ramapo. When they first stepped onto the Ramapo grounds, all there was in the moment was an empty field. Over time, they managed to bring Ramapo into a place full of many fun-filled activities. They also shared this experience with their two daughters, who were there since the very beginning and are now working with their parents at this amazing camp. They, of course, have helped create the program with friends who put their time and effort into making Ramapo possible as well. 

   If you want to read this in more detail of this story, please check out Ramapo’s website for more information. https://ramapocamp.com/ 

   After hearing this story, I couldn’t help to understand this camp even more in detail and see what it offers. After researching the site, I discovered how enjoyable it looks to work with kids and how much you earn from it. Not with the money I receive but with the satisfaction of creating a fun environment for kids and the bonds I make with them and the co-counselors I work with. Ramapo uses this quote, “There’s no place like it.” which is true. Reading the behind-the-scenes to make Ramapo possible to where it now makes this camp unique in every way. 

   When I began working there, I covered two positions at Ramapo (a bus supervisor and a fourth-grade camp counselor),  I will share my experience with these encounters. With being a bus supervisor, I was assigned to be the person in charge of the EpiPens for the children who need them. There were other supervisors and a head supervisor with us who also had different jobs (attendance, phone person, and name tags). As the Epipen person, all I needed to do was gather the EpiPens from the parents who dropped them off at the bus and bring them to the nurse at the end of the bus ride. Toward the end of the day, I grab them back from the nurse and bring them to the parents at the end of the day. Sounds easy enough, but there was way more to know about being a bus supervisor than just the primary duty you’re assigned. During the bus ride (there and back), we had to socialize with the kids and make them feel comfortable as they headed to and back from camp. In past experience, I never really had to speak with kids one on one before, and in all honesty, I had no idea how to start off conversations with children. On the bus ride, you meet many kinds of kids who are a mix of shy, talkative, confused, or all of them together. Of course, we went through training sessions before camp began, but it’s different hearing all of it compared to experiencing it in real life. For most people I know, I am a visual learner, and to get used to something, I have to experience it firsthand. There were some instances where I had talkative kids who liked to carry the conversation, but I also had some shy kids who needed an adult to talk to in order for a conversation to start. Of course, being the adult, I had to be the one who had to do that, and I am not always good at making conversation. Throughout the summer, I improved and managed to create good interactions with the kids. I also managed to get to know them better than I initially thought I would. Not only I engaged with the campers but also with the co-supervisors I was working with. There were some moments when a (or more) supervisor(s) was absent and had to take over their position, which was sometimes challenging. Still, it also developed a better understanding of what everyone else does to keep everything in line. For example, there were moments when our attendance person was absent, and I had to take over the sheet when he was gone. It was tough at the beginning because I had never done it before, but over time, it got easier. 

   The second position was my counselor position. I was a counselor for fourth-grade boys with one other person. I was very glad I had a co-counselor because, as a new worker, I had no idea what I was doing and where to go most of the time. After the weeks went by, I managed to get used to the area and got to know the kids very well. Eventually, I learned everything about the kids I was counseling (like their favorite food, hobbies, color, etc.). Of course, it was a bit of a tiring job, but I got used to it and it felt very rewarding in the end. You create a bond with the kids, and the satisfaction of happiness with the children makes the job experience everlasting. With working with a co-counselor, that made the job easier because we had each other to watch our backs. I also enjoyed how the day was structured too! For a bit of an insight into where I am at with the counselor position, nine counselors (including myself) were in charge of a section (two/three counselors for each section) of the fourth-grade boy group (also known as B4). I was in charge of a quarter of the campers with one other. The person in charge of all the campers in the B4 group is the division leader who keeps everything in check. I really did enjoy that structure because it helped me to know who to speak to when there is a problem or question regarding anything that happens throughout the day, which I found helpful. 

   So, the question is, will I work there again? Short answer, yes! Long answer, yes but it depends on my living situation. As many of you all may know, I go to school at Misericordia, located in Dallas, Pennsylvania. One of the reasons I took this job is because I was home in Jersey City, New Jersey, where it was convenient for me to work at this camp because of the bus transportation from Manhattan. This upcoming summer, I will most likely be staying at my school for the summer and living at an off-campus apartment. Those plans may change, and there could be a chance I will be living in Jersey City, but as of right now, I am leaning towards being at school for the summer. If I end up being in Jersey City, I would like to work there again! The community, atmosphere, and job itself were very memorable, and having this opportunity available will be great to have again! I also made great connections with the people I worked with, and it will be great to work with them once more! We shall see where I am next summer, and hopefully, I will be given this opportunity next summer.

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Dear Auntie Do...

6/7/2022

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Dear Auntie Do,

    To be quite honest, this is my fifth time writing this letter, Not because I don’t have much to say, but the opposite. I want to write to you about so much, and sometimes I quickly can get off-topic. It has been three years since your passing, and life has been a roller coaster ever since you left. In the back of my head, I have no idea how I made it this far without you, and as the years go by, I learn more about the past and what I can do to improve the future. I will share four things that helped me get through these years.

      1. Independence

    After your passing, I had to learn to be independent sooner than expected. I was going into my senior of high school, and life wasn’t easy during that time. Balancing a job, school, running, expenses, social life, etc., was a lot for me, and I was overwhelmed every day. I barely had any free time and always had something to do one right after the other. But it taught me to be vigilant and understand that adult life is generally busy. It had been brought to my attention, at a young age, to learn how to manage my time better and be on top of things. Of course, all of these responsibilities can be overwhelming, but it gets easier with a productive mindset and striving to succeed. Later on, I graduated high school and went off to college. I am currently going into my junior year of college at Misericordia University while majoring in sports management. I wish you were here (physically) to see the success I have made so far, but I am grateful for having you who taught me the strive to succeed. 

      2. Unpredictability

    Life can be unpredictable, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow. I wish you didn’t pass away, and I will always be saddened that you left so soon. But after going through this experience, I have learned that anything can happen at any moment. We cannot always control what is happening around us, but we can control what we make of it. Of course, I wanted you to be there for my high school graduation, I wanted you to be there when I left for college, and I wanted you to experience the success and progress I am making, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. I realized that life could bring you to an unpredicted future, and all you can do is progress through it. I truly believe that God also is the One who controls what will happen next and knows it is for the right intentions. 


       3. Understanding 

     Growing up, I did not think of this particular thought, but now that I am older, I have started to understand your life even more. I know you went through so much, and acknowledging all the stressful moments you had, made me admire you even more. From the loss of your husband, sister (my mother), parents, and dealing with bipolar disorder, it brings to my attention that you sacrificed so much to give us the best childhood as much as you possibly can. I am genuinely grateful for that and wish you had more time in this world. Being in very similar shoes, I’ve begun to understand your difficulties and know that life will continue peacefully if I make it that way. 

      4. Acceptance
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     These past few years have been difficult, and even though life will not be the same again, the best I can do is accept what happened and move forward. Life is not always easy, but I’ve realized we cannot change the past. All we can do is make each day a better one.

     I miss you, Auntie Do. Please know that you have a special place in my heart. I hope you’re resting well. <3<3<3


Love, 
Tony 

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One Step at a Time

5/24/2022

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     Life could be overwhelming and sometimes difficult to keep up with the responsibilities we may have. As I have said in a previous blog, we need to learn how to manage our time, but one trick is taking everything step by step. While being stressed with school, track, a social life, work, and adult responsibilities; I feel my mental and physical well-being can’t handle the pressure every day of my life. Over time, I have developed strategies to keep myself from being overwhelmed, and it is to take one step at a time in everything I do, especially on time-consuming tasks.
     Keeping a schedule is a great way to train your brain to keep everything organized. I like to have a spreadsheet with categories regarding the responsibilities and events. That way, I can stay focused on one particular job at a time and not worry about the others until I finish the task at hand. Before, I used to “try” to remember tasks throughout the day, which is sometimes not always helpful. I tend to forget some of the stuff I NEED to do and focus on things I WANT to do. As humans, we love doing things we find easy and most relaxing and push our important obligations. 
Above is an example of what I have done during the spring semester of 2022
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     This strategy is helpful for individual tasks and also with duties that happen to have sections getting to the goal. For example, whenever I have an assignment or a paper coming up for school, I usually break it down to make it easier to understand. Very similar to math, where we break down a word problem to determine what to plugin for the equation. Of course, it depends on how difficult the task is and if multitasking is preferable, but at the same time, when something becomes stressful, then breaking it into small pieces is the right thing to do. It can also bring more awareness to assignments at school. If you break down an assignment piece by piece, you can recognize each part of the problem. 

Here’s an example of an assignment I have done in my finance class: 

A company in which we are interested just paid a dividend of $5.00 per share on its stock. The dividends are expected to grow at a constant rate of 3% per year, indefinitely. If we want a return of 8% on this stock, what is the current price we would be willing to pay for the stock?
- Paid a dividend of $5
- at a Constant rate of 3%
- Want a return of 8% on this stock 
- What is the current price we would be willing to pay for the stock?
Current price = D0(1+g)/(R-g)
Current price = 5(1+0.03)/(0.08-0.03)
Current price = $103 per share,


     Of course, this is a small example and can easily be solved with the suitable materials you are given. Still, from looking at what I did for this equation, you can see that I put everything in bullet points and wrote down every step of the equation to get the correct answer. But from looking at this strategy, it can shift to larger areas of life and make more complex tasks easier by breaking them down into smaller chunks.
     This strategy is also helpful with new things too! For example, I struggled to pray the Rosary, and I always procrastinated my prayer life because it seemed complicated. I started off small and expanded it over time to overcome that difficulty. I started to pray one decade of the Rosary a day, then moved on to two, then three, then four, and then five. Over time, I learned the true meaning of the Rosary and continue to expand my prayer life as time passes. In the past, I used to start praying all five decades of the Rosary all at once, but that just overwhelmed me, and I ended up not praying the days afterward. The same goes for any habit we have. If you start off big with no preparation, it will overwhelm you and not commit to the routine. 
     I know it is easy to get into the habit of remembering everything and just trying to get everything done, but that isn’t always the best idea. It is also essential to know that having the structure to break down and start small can lead you to get things done efficiently. It is a great way to improve your mental health and lead to a better outcome. Of course, this method is not always for everyone, but from experience, I definitely benefit from this for all parts of my life. 
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The Importance of Mental Health in Running

3/1/2022

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    There is no doubt that running challenges us physically, but the mental aspect often gets lost, especially for new runners. When we think about it, the mental side of running is just as important as the physical side. In all the races I’ve competed in, I’ve had to face a difficult challenge in being confident, especially longer races (ex. 3200m, 5k, 10k, etc.). Come to think of it, mental health is essential in all aspects of life. Whether preparing for a major exam or playing a sport, everything we do depends on our mental state. Whenever I am preparing for a race, I need to make sure I am there mentally as much as I am physically. It doesn’t just depend on how I feel about that race but also everything else I do before it. Keeping a good mental state throughout the week can impact confidence and improve performance when the time comes. 

    Having an excellent mental mindset is essential with running and everything else. That includes schoolwork, working a job, etc. If we don’t keep a good mental state with our other obligations, we will not have a good mindset when we race in a meet. It also needs to be consistent. We cannot just talk to a psychologist in a week and stop it altogether. The mind can be unpredictable, and it can easily have us struggling in any sort of competition. Sometimes we may not be aware of our mental health until the race starts. If we’re not mentally prepared, we tend to think negatively during the race, exceptionally long races. 

    I’ve competed in both the 10k and 5k in track this past year. While I prefer running long distances, I feel it is more challenging than running the mile or 2 mile on the track. First of all, the number of laps can be mentally tiring. For a 10k, it is 25 laps outdoor, and for a 5k, it is 12.5 laps outdoor and 25 laps indoor. In both events, the number of laps can mentally drain us every time we pass the lap counter. There are times I just focused on the number of laps I had left other than the time I wanted to hit. My focus was not in the right place, and every time someone passed me, I always had the mindset of giving up. 

    It is essential to prepare before stepping on the line mentally. It is also necessary to speak to your coaches regarding anything we’re struggling with. Having a sports psychologist coach does a great job in creating strategies to improve our mental state before, during, and after a race. Even if you don’t have a sports psychologist at your school, any of your coaches will work. I know I am not an expert in running, but I know many strategies that have helped me improve over the years. Sometimes we have to be patient and understand that running faster takes time and effort with our overall well-being, including our mental health. 

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Overcoming Laziness

2/15/2022

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    It’s effortless to be lazy, mainly because laziness takes minimum effort. Inactivity leads to procrastination, but it can lead to shortcuts when working on a significant assignment. While living on a college campus, laziness generally happens, especially when we’re tired from doing any task we come across. It also doesn’t help with having smartphones. I feel that majority of my free time, I just watch youtube videos, which can lead to procrastination if I am unaware of my time. Sometimes we can get too distracted over things we see as “entertaining” and not do the tasks that will benefit us in the long run. 

    For example, when we have assignments like a review from a book or article, we can easily cheat our way through and use sites like SparkNotes to get the project done quicker. I am a victim of using SparkNotes, especially when reading a long chapter for my next class. SparkNotes can be useful when you are rereading a branch of a novel, and it refreshes your mind on what you read, but I don’t think it should be the only thing to read when you’re researching a source for an important project. The same goes with movies or any kind of source of information. There are many sites where students (including myself) have used to finish their work quicker, which using those sites will not get you the grade you anticipate. 

    This could also apply to many other responsibilities, like doing laundry or other simple chores around the house. We instead just lay in bed and go on our phones the whole day, but that will not benefit us at all. Yes, it is good to find time to relax, but it’s essential to get what you need to get done first so you can just relax at the end of the day. As the day continues to progress, so does your energy. 

    Laziness can affect prayer. There are moments when you need peace, but instead, we tend to be on our phones scrolling through social media all day. Sometimes it’s hard to find time to pray because we can claim we’re “too busy.” 

    Yes, I know there are moments when we cannot keep track of time and get distracted over materialistic things we find interesting, but we need to understand that we have to overcome that habit and use our time wisely. It is easier said than done, but if we take one moment in doing something productive, it can lead us to keep that motivation for the rest of the day. For example, as soon as we wake up, we should make our bed, which will bring our day in motion. It also is good to set up routines so we won’t run out of things to do. What I do is I pray the Rosary in the morning, make breakfast, and go to class. That usually is the routine I stick with. It works for me, but any routine would work if you continue to stick with it. Overall, I do understand that laziness will never go away, but I do know how to manage my responsibilities so there will be time for me to get the tasks I need to get done so I can relax at the end of the day.

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Cooking Fried Rice (Recorded on 3/28/2019)

2/8/2022

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   I, unfortunately, don't have a blog prepared for this week but I found this video I made in 2019 of me making fried rice. Enjoy! 
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